My strangest dream

Normally, the only dreams I can remember are those related to death: Death of family members, deaths due to "natural disasters", homicides and suicides. Especially, there is a dream that always repeats itself, that maybe, for other people it could be considered strange, but for me it has become normal for more than 10 years.
My suicide.
I always dream in different ways, but there is one that is usually repetitive.

The dream is quite brief: I am on top of a gray building, at the edge of the ledge, I take a few seconds to take a breath, then, drop me from above. In the dream, I think I can feel the air, see the sky totally clear... and feel my chest tighten, until finally... I do not feel anything anymore. Normally, people wake up when they are falling, reaching the ground, but in my case, they do not. I'm just awake when a few seconds have passed since my death. I also do not wake up scared, neither with a strange sensation nor with my pulse altered. In fact, I wake up quietly. As if he appreciated the chaos from afar.

When, in the dream, I am already dead, I can see myself in the third person, as if I were an observer of the suicide scene. I can see the rigidity of my body and my blood spilling.

It's so weird